Reflection: There may be many things worse than ‘not knowing’ or ‘living with uncertainty’, but as one of life’s stressors, it’s got to be high on the list.

I recently received a query from a Pause reader who is part of an organization in the midst of downsizing. Although she, herself, knows that she will continue to have her job, many co-workers find themselves in different circumstances.

For those who have learned that they will leave, there is some sense of relief in being in the know – and being able to start making plans.

Others do not yet know their fate, and may not know for some time. A few have learned they will need to compete for their own positions. For these individuals, the situation is precarious. She wonders how to support her colleagues who find themselves in limbo.

There’s no one size fits all answer to that question. Different people respond to uncertainty in different ways. Some are devastated and immobilized by it, while others take it in their stride. Most of us fall somewhere in between.

It can be tough to be a bystander in the lives of others who are hurting, and not sure how to help.

Action: Should you find yourself in this kind of situation, here are a handful of helpful practices to undertake yourself and encourage in others. Read More…

Posted under Life Balance, Life in General, Overload & Overwhelm, Pause E-zines

Reflection: It took a while to resolve the puzzle of the resounding Thunk. Turns out there’s a robin trying to fly through our living room window.

From his perch on the bare-branched mountain ash tree, Buddy spends about an hour a day launching himself again and again at the very same window – with exactly the same result. Thunk! Drop! Back to the tree!

He’s done this for more than a week now. In fact, even as I write this message, the Thunk, Thunk, Thunk continues.

Now, I’m not a bird whisperer, so I can only imagine what he’s thinking – or even if he’s thinking. Bird brains are notorious for their small size. Is Buddy trying to fly through the glass to land in the branches of the hibiscus tree in the living room? Is he seeing his reflection, not realizing it’s his mirror image, and protecting his territory from what he perceives to be a challenger to his robin-hood? Is he just looking for a decent place to take a bath? I have no idea.

I do know that we’ve tried to discourage his behavior. Read More…

Posted under Life Balance, Life in General, Overload & Overwhelm, Pause E-zines

Reflection: Very few of us have the stamina of the Energizer Bunny – that classically annoying, perpetually active, drum-thumping mascot of sustainability. While a fuzzy pink cheerleader for the world of 24/7/52/365 might be great for technology, it is not a healthy model for human beings.

To stay vital and active, we homo sapiens need renewing pauses through our day to replenish the energy we expend. What makes for the most renewing kind of pauses is a question for debate.

Researchers, Fritz, Lamb & Spreitzer, who share my interest in renewal in the workplace, have just released new research focused specifically on knowledge workers. They suggest that some actions undertaken in the name of renewal (taking micro-breaks or switching to another task) may not be as energizing as we think.

Most of the workplace energizers found to be effective in this research, relate to learning, strengthening relationships, and finding meaning at work. Read More…

Posted under Life Balance, Overload & Overwhelm, Pause E-zines

Reflection: If you’ve ever tried to change the culture or direction of a group, you’ll know how tough it can be to get everyone on board – rowing, driving, marching (pick your metaphor) in the same direction.

A few years ago, as president of a national association, I found myself repeatedly attempting to convince a couple of naysayers that the direction the Board had chosen was one of value and the ‘right’ way to go. The options had been debated, the decision had been made, and the train had left the station. However, I was still stuck at the rear urging a couple of reluctant individuals to jump on board.

I was fortunate enough to be counseled by a colleague experienced in the ways of change, who advised, “Pat, move on and move forward. We don’t need everybody. We just need enough.”

Those words rang true at the time, and I often call them to mind. Just last week, in a professional development session I delivered on Building An Appreciative Culture, an attendee asked, “How can we convince the lone wolf naysayers and grumps that it’s better to strike a more positive tone?” I found myself echoing my colleague’s advice, “Move on and move forward. We don’t need everybody. We just need enough!”

Now, sometimes there are legitimate concerns. And, sometimes there are other issues to work on or other directions to consider. And, sometimes, people are, at heart, all right with heading in the same direction; they just want to take a different route to get there. Things aren’t always black and white.

That said, there does come a point where it is simply time to get on with things. Read More…

Posted under Appreciation, Life in General, Overload & Overwhelm, Pause E-zines

Reflection: As long time subscribers would have noticed, last week the Pause e-zine launched a fresh new look for spring. The feedback on the new format has been overwhelmingly positive; and I thank all of you who took the time to share your reactions.

The revamp has been a long time coming. It’s been a few years since I last surveyed readers. At that time, many of you urged me to take a flying leap (figuratively, of course) into the future. You recommended jazzing up the look of the e-zine saying,“Give us some color and a bit of a design to go with the excellent content.”

I got the message. And, I dawdled. Maybe this happens with projects in your life, too. You see a need. You set an intention and a direction. Then you dance around it for a very long time.

In the case of the e-zine, I collected examples and tinkered with designs. I flirted with the idea of asking for design help. I knew shifting to a more visual presentation was going to mean moving to a different list management service, which could mean changing providers. Complications! What seemed to be a small project loomed large. I danced elsewhere.

With the writing of each weekly message, that intention lurked over my shoulder, and I continued to note my lack of progress.

When I finally worked my way through the inertia to get the design and new service arranged – and launched it last week, I felt a tremendous sense of relief and accomplishment. More than that, as a writer, I harvested that burst of energy that comes with what amounts to a fresh pen and a brand new sheet of paper. It was a wonderful reminder of how crossing a finish line can be a powerful energizer. Read More…

Posted under Life Balance, Life in General, Overload & Overwhelm, Pause E-zines

Here’s a treat for you blog subscribers who are also art lovers – a slide show of snippets of some of the images on my Fine Art America website. To see the full version of any of the paintings in the slide show – and a brief description of how each one came to be – just click on any image you like and you will be linked directly to full display of that image on my Fine Art America website.

This link – Fine Art America – will take you to the home page of my fine art site where you can browse through the galleries at your leisure.

Enjoy! And let me know what catches your attention!

Posted under Artwork

Reflection: It’s in a backward glance that the patterns often show up. As I think about many things that have unfolded in my life, I can usually pinpoint one action, one decision, or one choice that launched me in that direction.

Saying yes to a summer job my first year of University introduced me to a line of work that ended up changing my college major in the near term, and my career direction over the long haul.

Agreeing to a coffee with a classmate at University led me to meet and later marry the love of my life.

Writing a letter to the editor of our daily newspaper led to an invitation to write a column, which in turn launched a weekly writing habit that led to publishing my first of five books.

Asking a friend what she knew about Masters’ programs led me to discover a brand new distance learning opportunity that was perfect for my work and life situation at the time.

First steps can point us in many directions. Some lead to an uphill climb and others to a downhill slide. Much of life’s progress or regress boils down to our moment by moment choices. Read More…

Posted under Life Balance, Life in General, Pause E-zines

Last week’s meandering about the place of advice in our lives (Pause 12.10 – Ce M’Est A Vis) really struck a chord with Pause readers. Rather than try to excerpt just one comment for the Readers Write section of this week’s Pause message, I decided to provide this link that summarizes the reactions. You’ll also find a lively commentary of post-backs at the end of the Blog post for the same message.

Thanks to all who took the time to write and share their views. Special thanks to a couple of my Francophone readers who so kindly corrected my French noting that the title phrase should actually read: “C’est Mon Avis”. I’m always grateful for those who are able to fix my errors. And, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to me that the Old French source (circa 1300) would have evolved to something more current.

Enjoy the read!

JR writes: Ce m’est a vis was… brilliant!  Best quote and resource of the week ever!  Who is more expert in advising me about my life and career than the person who created them in the first place?  I find, when the ship’s taking on water, my internal muse goes mute, and I flail for a friend’s PFD rather than buoying myself up with my own truth.  Thanks for this very timely reminder. Read More…

Posted under Life in General, Miscellaneous, Overload & Overwhelm

REFLECTION: I am all too aware of the irony of what I am about to say. That’s especially so, since I’ve made a career of offering advice and counsel on all kinds of issues – from time and organization, through stress and balance, to encouragement and appreciation. And, since I regularly hear from readers and clients how highly those ideas are valued, I have every intention of continuing.

Still, here’s the thing. There are days when I find I’ve had it with advice! It’s not so much the offering of advice – although there are times when I do grow tired of listening to myself talk or write. It’s more the seeming streaming nonstop nature of external advice that swirls and flows around me. Some days I experience that more as bombardment and less as encouragement.

It’s an interesting state of affairs for someone who likes words and loves ideas. But, I find there are days when I literally want to shout, “Enough Already!”

Facebook posts run rampant with recycled wisdom in the form of ‘words to live by’ and in the jazzed up form of quotes turned mini-posters. On quote-heavy days, a quick scan of the FB News Feed leaves me with ‘motivational whiplash’.

Newstands and magazines overflow with how-to, where-to, and why-to cautions and admonishments.

Our local paper even features a quote of the day as part of the header on the Obituary page. That seems just a bit too late in the game to qualify as a word to the wise. Read More…

Posted under Life Balance, Life in General, Overload & Overwhelm, Pause E-zines

REFLECTION: Ever notice how common is the tendency to share the glory when things go right, but how rare the tendency to shoulder responsibility when things go wrong? This inclination makes me think of the refrain in a very old ‘Horse and Carriage’ tune that says: ‘You can’t have one without the other.”

Maybe you’ve had a few experiences like these over the years:

* A ‘complaining’ friend or colleague regularly rains doom and gloom and pours bad news into every conversation.

* A relationship grows  tangled – caught up in hasty communication, missed cues, and unfulfilled promises.

* An employee or colleague struggles to meet expectations and deliver on commitments.

It’s oh so easy to point fingers in any direction other than our own. It’s much tougher to contemplate that we somehow might have contributed to the outcome – for better or for worse.

ACTION: Relationships and results usually live somewhere between us – as a shared responsibility. When we see them this way, we are far more likely to look at situations through a ‘reverse lens’ and ask ourselves questions like these: Read More…

Posted under Appreciation, Life Balance, Overload & Overwhelm, Pause E-zines